Man Before You

We all need a friend, but some are always needy. – Robert Joseph

 

You look in the eyes of the person in the front of you,

He looks back into yours too.

You feel lost and like your all alone,

This man, too, seems to be on his own.

You ask him, “Why love never seems to stay.”

He doesn’t respond just miserably looks away.

You tell him you feel misery and pain,

When all your strength for love is in vain.

Still no answer.

Tears show in his lonely blue eyes,

Like he lost the star shining in his night sky.

You tell him a girl causes you pain tonight,

How, for some stupid reason, without her nothing seems right.

The tears in his eyes push out,

Is this, too, what his pain is about?

You take a deep breath and again begin to speak,

“She made me feel so strong, but now so weak.

Do you know what it’s like to have no hope with a girl like this?”

You know he does when whiteness fills both his fists,

And one lonely tear rolls down his face.

His eyes look lost and empty as space.

The tears just begin streaming from his eyes,

You realize you, too, have started to cry.

You try to comfort him and yourself,

You say, “If we become friends maybe it won’t hurt worse than anything else.”

He bitterly and doubtfully laughs about what was just said,

You, too, feel great doubt in your head.

You now realize the man that stands before you,

Is just a mirror, a reflection you wish wasn’t true,

Because the man in the mirror is you.

Person Standing Near Body of Water

Obsessive

Obsession; An idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind.

I don’t think it’s any secret that we all want to be loved, but I think the truth is that we want to choose the people who love us. The curious cycle of it all, is that the people we want to love us don’t always, and we ,as people, don’t love the ones who desire our love in the same way. I can think of many people I’ve let down chasing after a hopeless love. The tears and bitterness I caused them, that I was so often aware of. Some people love hard and desire to show that love constantly. Admiration gives the feelings flight, but in time, admiration is replaced by annoyance, and the feeling that gave you wings takes them away. In that moment, one never feels more alone and hopeless.

Gray Wrecked Plane Photography

I can remember the first time I was obsessive over someone. I was young and my friend would have rather played with my brother than me. The truth of the matter is that the three of us could have played and nothing would have changed, but it wasn’t good enough for me. I needed the validation that having a friend gave, and to see him choose to play with my brother made me angry and hurt. Since then I’ve never dealt with people well. I get close to someone fast, and the more I seek that closeness the more they pull away. The lie of my life is that it is spent alone. The truth is I’m surrounded by people that care, just not the ones I chose.

Free stock photo of people, friends, men, sitting

Is that fair to the ones who fought to stay in my life? I know the answer. Maybe in the end I reap what I sow. We don’t choose the ones who love us, and in the end that’s the hardest truth to face.

Silhouette Photo of Man Leaning on Heart Leaf Shape Tree during Dawn